New perspective.

I took this down because I was getting responses about how poorly it was received. Allow me to clarify. This entry is in no way, shape, or form, an attack on any individual. It actually has absolutely nothing to do with any of you. It is not disguising a secret message. It's not a cry for help. It's not a mission of self destruction. This blog, though I welcome any and all readers, when it comes right down to it, is about me. This entry... is about me.  Though the information provided in this entry can be applied to anyone, it is solely a reflection on my own inner being. Please do not take offense. Thank you. Cheers.

They tell you you'll "find yourself" in Europe... when you [find yourself] out of your comfort zone. Now... I don't know if its all true, and I definitely don't think I've "found" anything, but I have come to the realization that I have been living my life all wrong. This is not to say I regret anything I've done (well, maybe a few things), but as I look back on how I've been doing things, I can't say that I completely agree with all of my choices.

I thought about this the other day: I will only be in Barcelona, under these incredible conditions, once. Sure I have a lot of work to do here, school is going to be very challenging, but I'm living in one of the most beautiful cities in the world with amazing friends and all I have to worry about is some homework and papers to do (and maybe my bank account running dry).

From this point on, I have decided to go about things differently. I'm sick of being cautious. If I want to do something, I'm going to do it. I'm going to think it, say it, buy it, wear it, touch it, take it, love it. This is not meant to be self-destructive. I trust myself to make decisions that are right, for me and for others (please acknowledge this). I'm just sick of doing things I don't want to do, of course apart from things that NEED to be done. I'm sick of being mad about things I think I can't change. I'm sick of longing for a comfort zone I'm not even sure exists anymore. I love my friends and family, and I always will, but this marks a new era of not needing anyone to make myself happy. Wise words from Mr. Prats-Mendez. You need to make yourself happy before you go looking for someone else to do it for you. If you find someone that enhances your previously existing happiness, well... then you've found someone really special.